Vulva Interview: with Populus Tremula

This is a recurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

PT: Early 30’s

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

PT: Last week

TFC: What does it look like to you?

PT: It always looks different, like your face looks different every time you look in the mirror, but it’s in a more detached way. I don’t need to lather it exorbitantly priced face lotions or use a palette of make up to alter it’s appearance, it’s just sort of there. It’s there like the handle of the door needs to be there when I wake up to be sure that the world is still right side up.

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

PT: 16. I was at a party and my boyfriend at the time he had the secret key,

very adept hands and mouth that produced a result in my body that I did not know was possible.

That singular event is burned into my brain because it was like lightening and then falling off of a cliff. Maybe the best ever, because there was no anticipation of what could, would, or should happen. Thank you Jason Sugars.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you?

PT: It’s like an improvisational jazz session. It starts with a rhythm section; softly at first, but with a consistent beat. Sometimes there is a long into, sometimes not. Other instruments join in and the music gets more complicated and somewhat unstable, then you hit the right note in your mind that sends you and then there is a rippling and clattering, a pulsing that is originally localized that moves out rippling out through you, shattering through your veins, down through your thighs, toes shaking, then a bit of a rumbling, bass drum and cymbals, slight deafness, and then the music ends, but there is a resonance like a blinking light, or an opening and closing of flower, of a heart valve, a burning cigarette that glows on the edge of a tray and then slowly fades.

TFC: Do you have a definition for orgasm?

PT: A free vacation

My best friend

Healthy routine

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

PT: At the moment it’s just me, myself, and I

I have my routine down, I’ve perfected it.

I can actually time it.

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?

PT: Yes, when I don’t feel safe.

TFC: What did you do to overcome?

PT: It used to feel like failure, now I realize that we are complex animals, not robots.

A Hallmark card won’t get you around it, laughter helps, time passing, changing the subject,

And then maybe going at it again.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

PT: No, that would make it feel like something separate from my own body.

It has been called “votre chatte” numerous times.

TFC: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?

PT: Don’t forget to breathe

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)

Vulva interview: with Ranunculus

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

R: 33

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

R: probably only a few times in my life (meaning w a mirror). last time years ago, cant even remember

TFC: What does it look like to you?

R: reminds me of an elephant. an ex-boyfriend of mine told me many girls's look like space aliens (not mine, of course, he told me). hopefully mine isn't the dreaded roast beef sandwich... read about that a few years ago and was horrified - also went on a first online date and a guy was complaining that everyone says you can easily see most of a woman's goods outlined by her clothes but that the one wildcard is the pussy, which can be gruesome...

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

R: 17. a friend had talked me through it. i was in bed and had just woken up, and i played w myself. i think women get hornier just after they wake up bc some pee is stored near the genitalia which puts pressure in the right places. also you're already really relaxed.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

R: the best part of an orgasm is the part right before the actual climax. it feels amazing for about 7 seconds usualy then the climax by which point the pussy shakes but not much feeling. the best "orgasm" is when you can get the pre- part to last for many minutes, by not touching clit directly but area around it - teasing yourself. definition: not an orgasm unless pussy shakes (contracts).

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

R: most recent orgasm - watching porn! was actually a very intense orgasm. i was watching a young curvy "prostitute" service a client. that was on friday (three days ago). video was 20 mins long which is long for me - usually too long to watch - but it was a very sexy vid and was worth investing the whole time to it. i felt extreme pleasure for about 12 mins of it (again, not orgasming the whole time - that great part before the orgasm).

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?

R: its hard to reach orgasm during sex w a guy, and frankly, the orgasms dont feel that amazing unless the guy is going slowly. it has made me feel embarrassed, like Im not sexual enough. Ive faked plenty of orgasms. I only bother to try to orgasm w my boyfriend every month or so when im really horny.

TFC: What did you do to overcome?

R: fake it. or not try to have orgasms during sex. ive talked it over w my boyfriend and he now knows that its effort for women and that most of the time i wont feel like "working" during sex. he does give me nice orgasms through oral.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

R: no nickname

TFC: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?

R: Every woman needs to masturbate with the water stream of a shower head. theyve given me the best orgasms of my life, and my only multiple orgasm. another piece of advice: allow your mind to go wherever it damn pleases to get you off - and that includes when you're with a guy.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)

Vulva Interview: with Purple Orchid

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

PO: I usually give it a cursory glance in the shower, but I can't remember the last time I took out a hand mirror. I don't really have any mirrors in the house except for the one on the medicine cabinet, so not looking at my vulva is akin to not seeing the back of my hair, or not being able to make sure my pants don't make my butt look funny.

I remember the first time I looked at it, though. I think it was inspired by a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes, (but it could have been Steel Magnolias). At any rate, I was somewhere between ten and twelve and a scene in a movie that has some sort or rural Southern theme and a bunch of woman sitting around with mirrors to their crotch caught my interest. I was really surprised at what I saw when I saw it myself.

TFC: What does it look like to you?

PO: Lumpy. I've gotten used to it over the years, but it's taken me a while to recognize it as my own. My inner labia hang out below my outer labia, so there's a bit of volume. If I wore tight pants camel toe would be a serious issue. A friend of mine once told me that hers hung funny too, and some guy she slept with in highschool told her it looked like roast beef. I've adopted that, because it didn't happen to me, and, well, it kind of does.

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

PO: Looking back I realize that I've had little orgasms off and on as long as I've been masturbating (since I was four or so) but they were never such mind blowing events, so even up until my first partner induced orgasm two years ago, I always considered them small releases and not "real" orgasms. It was my first "real" orgasm that made me realize that the shape and size doesn't matter as much as the release of tension.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

PO: It's totally clitoral and takes a while at a very specific rhythm. I have no problem mixing it up, when it comes to sex, but if I want to come, there's not a lot of variety. The first time I had an orgasm with a guy, and one that was more explosive than the self induced kind, was with the man who's now my husband. It felt sharp and immediate. Now I have a very flexible definition, so all those little releases I used to describe as "comfortable" I now call orgasms.

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

PO: I honestly can't remember. I still don't get a lot of them, so I'm happy enjoying sex in other ways. It still feels great even if there's no big bang. I'm lucky in my own way, they often come as little surprises. Because I don't expect them, when they do happen it's a special bonus.

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?

PO: I pretty much always have trouble reaching orgasm. It's not even a guarantee if I'm doing it myself. For years I thought I was totally deprived of some amazing experience, but I've been lucky to learn that it's different for everyone. I'm not envious of women who can orgasm all the time. I'm also not envious of men just because it seems like it's so easy for them, which wasn't always the case. I used to resent men for that, which didn't make sex a particularly bonding experience, even if it was with a serious partner.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

PO: I don't really consider my vulva as something separate from myself so it's never struck me to have a nickname. It would be like naming my left arm. I got really mad the first time my husband made up some cutesy name. He thought he was being endearing, I thought he was separating me from the part that he wanted to have sex with. I'm kind of one minded like that.

PO: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?

A good friend gave me this one in our very early twenties after some guy freaked out about her stubble: Don't shave your legs for a man who's not going to be into you if you didn't get a chance to shave your legs.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)

Vulva Interview: with Naked Lady

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

NL: 28

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

NL: I had to look at it just now to answer the next question. Before that, the last time I saw it was a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't seen my vulva in sometime so I thought I would get back in touch. No pun intended.

TFC: What does it look like to you?

NL: The entrance to some mysterious and exciting cave. And my cervix could be a giant stalactite.

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

NL: I really can't remember how old I was, sometime during my early teens. It was acheived with a stream of water in the shower.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

NL: It feels like pangs of happiness that get stronger and stronger until they erupt in an glorious explosion that radiates from my nether regions. My mind is absolutely clear. No worries, responsibilties, doubts or insecurities for that split second or two. Then, it dissipates into a warm and cozy feeling all over.

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

NL: My last orgasm was a few days ago, although I tried desperately with my husband last night. I had a beer which always makes the Big O elusive. I'm not terribly worried about it though since I could take off my pants right now and do it.

TFC: Ever have any troubles finding your orgasm? What did you do to overcome?

NL: Sober up and trust the person I'm with.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

NL: I must be a little immature about this since I never, ever refer it by name or personify it in anyway. It's like giving your belly-button a name. Granted, rubbing my navel has never given me huge happiness explosions but maybe I haven't explored that orfice fully. I have been known to call my vulva twataffleupagus, crotch, va-jay-jay, cravice and most recently, my slice.

TFC: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?

NL: I don't think that I have received much, if any, sex advice, aside from the obligatory and quite helpful birth control discussion with my mother.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)

Vulva Interview: with Gerber Daisy

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

GD: 27

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

GD: Just now - it had been years and years, but this question made me feel I've been remiss about that.

TFC: What does it look like to you?

GD: Well, I have my period, so... like a low-budget horror movie, basically.

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

GD: Not sure exactly, but young, about 4 or 5 - I had no idea what I was doing, just that it felt good.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

GD: A little like laughing, a little like crying, a little like sneezing - the other kinds of "spastic body reactions" that serve as a release. But better. Better than sneezing, especially.

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

GD: Night before last, in bed, just me and my hand.

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?

GD: By myself, no. But it seems to take me a while with the same guy, a few weeks or even a month or two, before I feel unselfconscious and comfortable enough to relax and let it happen. I used to wonder if I was doing something wrong, but now that I know that's just how it goes for me, it doesn't really bother me.

TFC: What did you do to overcome?

GD: Practice.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

GD: No. Nothing wrong with that, but speaking just for myself, I don't think I want to do anything to mentally separate it from the rest of me. I mean, I don't nickname my nostril or my left foot or my elbow, you know? It's all just me.

TFC: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?

GD: Nobody's a mind reader (... and men especially aren't). In other words, talk to your partner.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)

vulva Interview: with Hyacinth

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

H: 30

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

H: Last week, after an ex informed me he had been diagnosed wit a mild STI.

TFC: What does it look like to you?

H: pretty in pink

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

H: My first REAL orgasm probably wasn't until I was 21. I had experienced pleasurable sensations down there during sex before then, but my senior year of college was when i truly learned to masturbate.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

H: It feels like an intense release of tension that starts inside my crotch area and flows up to my temples.

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances:

H: Masturbating in bed at my mom's house after receiving an email from the guy i'm seeing. It wasn't a dirty email, just planning to meet up after not seeing each other for a while.

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? If so, how did it make you feel?

H: When i was younger and first starting to sleep with guys, I didn't know what i should be working toward exactly. It made me feel stupid.

TFC: What did you do to overcome?

H: I had a very generous partner my freshman year of college who made me feel confident and sensual and taught me to use my inner muscles during sex. And I touched myself. A lot. Until I figured out my own mechanics.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

H: No

TFC: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?

H: I find most sex advice is pretty crappy. You just need to experiment on your own.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)

Vulva Interview: with Lily

This is a reoccurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?

L: 32

TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?

L: About 3 months ago

TFC: What does it look like to you?

L: I have trouble finding something poetic or a metaphor for it. It looks like a pussy. It is light pink with a darker marron color near the edge of my lips. It's sweet and delicate looking.

TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?

L: I don't remember. I started masturbating when I was 2 ( I realized that if I roll around with my blanket in a particular way it felt good), but I don't remember my first orgasm. It was early though. It would have been through masturbation over my panties or pjs.

TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you? Do you have a definition for orgasm?

L: For me the rising sensation with a big peak and going over or cumming part is a subset of orgasm in general. To me it is bigger than that and encompasses a whole slew of experiences where my body's involuntary musculature is activated, I begin feeling energy or tingles coursing through me and loose my inhibitions and my mind is solely focused on the now. My identity melts away and I am swept up and overwhelmed by the rush in my entire body.

TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?

L: My most recent was about 5 days ago. I had decided to do some BDSM exploration with a very experienced dominant ( I am submissive by nature).

Our play veered towards knife play this evening and as the intensity and energy escalated, the knife play became more and more centered around my pussy. It was a very very big knife, bigger than the biggest knife in the typical knife set at home. It was like a hunting knife, meant to kill very big game. It was also very sharp, not used or dulled in any way.

By the end of our play, the knife was in me, very slowly, the tip moving towards my cervix. I could feel the light prick as it reached it (similar to the feeling when you're getting a pap test.). He started licking my clit at the same time and then applyed thuddy pressure to the knife, moving it inside me in little bursts. I was really excited, and when I started reaching orgasm, my pussy began to contracting. In this case, I was a little worried about contracting around this very large sharp knife inside me so I was trying to let go and release and so incredibly aware of every micromovement so as not to cut myself with contractions. I had never done anything like that before, and don't imagine I will anytime soon. The exploration was fascinating though. It was about the physical sensation of the cold metal and the tongue on my clit, the surrender and vulnerability and being totally out of control and the mind fuck of "what the hell is happening right now, this is crazy - cool!" at the same time.

TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?

L: Yes, with my ex-husband. We were married for 7 years. He was inexperienced when we met and I didn't like to be the teacher. Sex wasn't about orgasm. I would only reach orgasm on my own masturbating. I also have trouble reaching orgasm when receiving oral sex. I find that most partners are not attentive enough and I get tired of telling people to slow down or go lighter that I just avoid it all together. Also, at certain times during my cycle I am less likely to be turned on and find it harder to have an orgasm.

TFC: What did you do to overcome?

L: I got to know my body, my system and what I was all about in that area. I learned to ask for what I want and not be shy to give instruction. I decided to live a life with orgasm as it's foundation, harnessing it and learning to listen to it and it's energy as the signal for what is really going on with me, who I am and where my power as a woman comes from.

TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?

L: No. I refer to it as my pussy.

(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)